Learning to value yourself and recognize your needs establishes the foundation for personal development, sustainable progress, and greater potential for joy in your life.
Looking for love, recognition, acceptance, and happiness from others will always leave you wanting and dependent on others for feelings of satisfaction and value. All change starts within.
We need to work on our foundations, our self-belief, in order to change any other habit or pattern of behaviour in our life.
The Inner Critic
How you speak to yourself is a good place to begin- building awareness of any criticisms or doubts that arise and practicing meeting those experiences with- self-compassion, kindness, and patience.
Like any new habit, this takes perseverance but when you improve the relationship with yourself – all else follows!!
To address the critic you need to be self-aware: build this skill by sitting in stillness/ meditation every morning and night for as little as 10minutes simply being aware of any dialogue that runs through your mind. We cannot change something if we are not aware of it and its impact.
Allow yourself to stay impartial rather than reactive to what you hear- simply notice how you speak to yourself, how does this make you feel. Our thoughts feed our self-concept- to change ourselves we need to change our thoughts. But this requires patience.
Change doesn’t stick if the foundations are not established. You need to clear the rubble underneath before you can make space for anything new or different.
By-passing happens in many ways- and essentially it is where we deal with the surface issue without looking deeper underneath to see what really needs to be addressed in order for change to be sustainable.
A coach or therapist can really assist you in this, but also a journal, meditation practice, and a commitment to getting to know your-self can be more than enough. Like anything, if you value the process and the potential benefits you are more likely to commit to its practice.
So when you become aware of a thought/ belief you want to “unpack” and improve upon, ask yourself –
Why do I want to change?
What is my current experience?
How would my life be if I were to change this habit/ belief?
Write down your thoughts, this will help heighten your awareness and reinforce the value of sustaining this practice of awareness.
Keep it Simple!
Many people can be disheartened when they don’t manage to shift an old habit or achieve a goal.
Keep your goal simple and clear and cut it back to basics to make it more achievable.
If you want to lose weight- then don’t set this as your goal, look at what habits form the patterns that prevent you from losing weight.
Peel underneath this- what beliefs about yourself sustain these habits?
Old Concepts of Self
Most of us hold on to identities that no longer serve us or that we have long grown out of. Characteristics that were highlighted by others can pigeon-hole us, limit our potential as we have not questioned the false-truths and beliefs that may have been ingrained in us since childhood or during previous relationships.
The only way to create a shift is through awareness. So keep it clear, get to the root of what you want to change – dig under the superficial/external goal that may initially be your focus!
When we are mindful of our relationship with ourselves we have an opportunity to create change from the ground up. Our capacity for love and joy is based on our ability to experience this within our own self.
We all could benefit from being kinder to ourselves.
To embed and sustain positive habits of wellbeing we need to show care and compassion to ourselves first. Our inner experience reflects our outer experience- so how you treat yourself is reflected in your experience of the world around you.
To shine a light we first need to be the light. To experience more love we first need to address loving and accepting ourselves.
Anything is possible with a clear simple intention – it all comes down to awareness and a commitment to value yourself.
Building healthy habits takes practice to begin and soon it becomes second-nature. My classes and one to one sessions focus on whole-person wellbeing through movement, meditation, and creative practices, check them out and contact me for further details.
I wish you joy in the process of getting to better know your Self!
A blessing to empower you in the positive changes you may wish to bring into your life.
Today I choose for me.
I recognise the power and impact of my choices in determining my dreams and my reality.
My state of mind, perspective, feelings and experiences are all of my own making.
The care, love and attention I give to myself improves my ability to do the same for others and for them to do so for me.